Um, did it happen yet?

It’s pretty weird to think, for the first time, that some life could be forming in my midsection, somewhere behind my rock-hard abs. I spent the last ten or so* years trying to avoid this “situation,” so I imagine the next few months might be a bit anxiety-inducing. What if I was using birth control that whole time for no reason? What if it takes a long time, and I stress out because I’m so competitive and want to be the best and first?

While I don’t have high expectations for Attempt #1, it shouldn’t be that hard right? How many celebrities have you seen knocked up in UsWeekly? How many friends do you have who had a “surprise”? (Sorry, more than you think). Getting pregnant by accident is probably more acceptable in celebrity-land, but still, if all these people, including the glorious Catherine Zeta-Jones and Gwyneth Paltrow, didn’t even do it on purpose, then it can’t be as complicated as we might imagine. I can probably do it on purpose, right? I’m not trying to jinx myself here, so knock on wood for me, but I’m just sayin’.

*Dad, if you're reading this, it's actually only been a few months, you know, since I got married