Time for some more learning!

Since I am in love with public libraries, I have access to lots of information and I use that privilege often. I can take out books on “The Fertility Diet” for example, and I could also take out “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” (which is going to be a movie that looks awesome) if I was in the mood. At my library, one can borrow 6 copies of LoveGuru, which is almost the worst movie I’ve ever seen, almost, but there isn’t a single Mighty Ducks to take out. Hmm.

So I’m still just browsing around the information, learning about my uterus and Hubby’s sperm and weird things that have to occur to make a baby. I have to say it’s pretty ingenious, what goes on in there. When I actually have all that nonsense happening in my body I’m going to be pretty impressed with myself.

The Waiting Game

As I have previously mentioned, it kinds of gets boring, wondering if you’re knocked up or not. This has led me to pretty much forget about the whole thing for days at a time. I know this isn’t a bad thing, I just always thought I would be more like Charlotte from Sex and the City or someone else baby-crazy. I don’t know why, actually, because I’m a very laid-back person, well, it could be that I’m super-competitive (even with myself), but I thought it would be more…I don’t know, dramatic or something. I don’t feel anything. Absolutely nothing is different. I guess I should relish that feeling; if all goes to plan it will be very different very fast. Yikes.

Paging Doctor Unhelpful

I had an annual ob-gyn exam scheduled, so I called up and asked if I could also have a “preconception visit.” This is only because every book I have read told me I should do this, and since I didn’t actually do it the first time around but got a second chance, I figured I would give it a whirl. Well, let’s just say the doctor’s office didn’t give a hoot. Also, the receptionist who spoke with me had no idea what I was talking about. So, basically, I came in for my usual “feet-up-slide-down-you’ll-feel-a-pinch” routine, told the doctor I wanted to start a family, she smiled and said “great, call me if you think you’re pregnant” and was out the door. So, good thing I worried about it.

Not.

A peaceful (?) way to do it

Sometimes, if I want to be enthralled and grossed out at the same time, I watch I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant on TLC. It is amazing and I highly recommend watching it, if you can restrain yourself from throwing things at your television. Each episode has several examples of women who suddenly give birth and are flabbergasted it is happening. Really? Are you the Virgin Mary or something? You just gained a few pounds, had a stomach bug for a couple weeks, and missed your period for most of the year? What a coincidence. The kicker is, the show is a whole hour and there are many episodes. Unbelievable!

The only way I find this inspiring is –if I ever get pregnant—it is possible I don’t have any “symptoms” of pregnancy and just pop out a baby too; no morning-sickness, no hemorrhoids, no hormonal rages—just suddenly a perfectly healthy and cute baby outta nowhere. I suppose the downside is you don't even have a carseat to bring home the baby...let alone the start of a college fund. I mean, I guess I believe these stories…but wow, right?

Better luck next time

Old Auntie Flo has come to visit; Mother Nature has brought my monthly gift; I’m on the rag, etc. Guess it didn’t happen. Disappointing and relieving at the same time. I mean really, can you see me as a mother?

Can we slug back a few cosmos now?

Patience

Well, now I’m just bored waiting to find out if this is working or not. I guess I could go Bachelorette-crazy on the pregnancy tests, but I already learned from my in-depth library research that those aren’t exactly reliable if you use them too early. Did you know, according to some book or other, that over half of pregnancies end before the woman even misses a period? It’s a “chemical pregnancy” or something, and it means the sperm made love to the egg and two became one but then the uterus was snobby and said “no thanks.” Well, that’s my approximation of it. It’s basically a conception that doesn’t stick. Isn’t that weird? If you watch Keeping up with the Kardashians, which I admit is embarrassing, so you don't have to tell anyone, you will observe Khloe possibly experiencing this phenomenon in the most recent season. Now you are so smart.

Mostly I’m just curious because once in a while I think “hmm, what’s going on in there?” and much more often I think “I could probably go out binge-drinking but maybe I shouldn’t just in case.”