So far about three of my friends and a minimal amount of close family know about the Nugget. You should feel privileged, no? Telling my parents was easy because I did it over email after we saw the heartbeat for the first time; I couldn’t wait to call them after work and, frankly, it was so much easier than over the phone. Telling Hubby’s parents was a little harder because they were actually here on vacation and there was some too-close hugging and tears and “oh, things will be just great this time” and uncomfortable things like such. Having to disclose this new baby’s life has been a lot more difficult than I thought; it seems so much more personal, like I’d rather keep it to myself for longer this time around. Part of me thinks I need to share in case something happens—then of course I will want people to know. But part of me just finds it too hard to spread the news. It’s confusing. So, I’m procrastinating. Yet somehow I ended up telling my whole lacrosse team already. ..
We had some great weather and therefore some long, awesome outdoor lacrosse practices this past week. After one particularly great indoor team-building activity, the head coach wrapped it up and added “Oh, there’s one more announcement: I’m pregnant.” And the place went buck-wild. I knew 20 girls in a small space could make some noise, but I didn’t know it would be like that. I’m pretty sure there were tears of joy, and I know there was shrieking, jumping, hugging, dancing, and the like. Meanwhile, I was sitting in my chair with my heart pounding, palms instantly sweating, wishing I had a head’s up so I could have at least been prepared to partake in the celebration instead of keep my head down and finish taking notes. Needless to say I divulged my secret to my co-worker as soon as we had some privacy in the office. I found it fun to have someone to share with—and share pregnancies with in person no less. However, I cried the whole drive home thinking about how I would tell the team because I knew I had to share my first baby Wyatt before it would be fair to share my second baby Nugget. Oh dear! I couldn’t sleep that night—it really shook me up that much—so I formulated a plan instead. I practiced some speeches, creating points of emphasis and thinking of just the right wording. For four days this stewed around in my head and finally, half-way through a late practice I went to the bathroom and the silence got me thinking. I should just do it. I should just get it over with. My hands got sweaty and my heart started racing, so I hurried up to get back out the gym and get my mind on something else. As the team did their cool-down lap though, I got extra brave and told the other coach I was going to do it today. Right now. So after they stretched, I did. I told them about Wyatt, how he came too early, how he died, how I’m a mom but they’ll never get to meet my son, etc. I told them they should know because it is a huge part of my life and I want to be a resource for them if they or anyone they know ever need someone who’s “been there.” And then I ended with something along the lines of “And I just had to tell you about my first baby Wyatt before I could tell you about my second baby who’s in here…” and pointed to my stomach, which was moot, because the shrieks of excitement began well before I got to that point. I felt literally 25 pounds lighter and the smile came so easily to my face. Later, in the shower, digesting my courage, I fist-pumped my performance. Go Average Joey!
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