it's a new month

I have to admit I extra-enjoy ripping off calendar pages these days. Throwing February in the recycling bin was a fun activity that gave me a puff of courage: one more month down, one less to brave ahead. I have nothing against February of course; it’s just the months between now and my due date in general that I’m not so keen on. Plus, our lacrosse games start in March (tomorrow in fact) and that means I can actually see how I’m doing at my job and how the heck we hold up under pressure and in real competition, so that’s a bonus. Also, it means I will be extra busy and I’m hoping that means the time flies by. We’ll see.

It’s funny how sometimes life seems to go so slowly or so quickly and you can’t even be sure why it changes or what makes the difference. I’d like to see some psychology studies on that. Since November I’ve definitely felt the days dragging, yet turned around and suddenly found it three weeks later than I thought it was. While I’m not rushing through the days, I highly enjoy when they’ve passed and
I’ve still got a baby on board (obviously). As hard as I try to avoid the
morbid thoughts, they sometimes hit me. It’s usually when I’m tired,

p.s. check out this crazy pillow for the knocked-up

which makes me cranky and hormonal anyway, and I just can’t help but wonder if everything’s okay at the same time as wishing I wasn’t in this situation. I had a baby 7 months ago…but I don’t have a 7 month old baby. It’s so unfair! I just want to punch stuff. 

But mostly I’m good at remaining positive—

as long as I get enough sleep I’m fairly optimistic. 

Note to potential dads out there: let your woman sleep!