Add heartburn to the list...

As if I haven’t been complaining enough lately, now I’m getting heartburn. Seriously Body, all the books say the second trimester is supposed to be this amazing reprieve between the fatigue and hormonal confusion of the first few months and the enormity and discomfort of the last few months, can you get the memo already?

So heartburn, which I was lucky enough to claim ignorance of until about a week ago, is not really a burn and not really near your heart; it’s more of an acid melt all through your chest. It is like you swallowed a nice thick shot of gasoline (or perhaps something like Jagermeister, if you aren’t knocked up) and then someone lit a match in your stomach so the resulting flame slowly trickles up your esophagus and crawls out your mouth after sitting at the back of your throat for a few moments. Then, the clear air passes through and you don’t know when the cycle will strike again. On our road trip, chips were giving me this wonderful experience. But yesterday, they were not. I had too many jalapenos on my sandwich today, but not three days ago. It’s really just another great surprise, ain’t it?

Maybe next time I’ll write something awesome about pregnancy, like a newfound love of juice (which, naturally, is on the list of things that gives you heartburn).